Comeback Story Counseling
Mike Ensley, LPC, Counselor | Loveland, CO

Amusement parks have always been a favorite getaway for me. I was a lucky kid because my parents were happy to oblige when they could. Looking back I'm even more impressed with their sacrifice on those vacations. It must have been so exhausting. I was all about the rides. So focused on getting in as many spins, drops, and loops I couldn't sit still. Stopping for a meal or to shop for souvenirs was almost impossible. My poor family was pulled nonstop like they were trying to w

All parents know the struggle of needing to broach a hard subject with your teenager. It could be something serious and consequential, or one of those probing, private conversations that's awkward and uncomfortable, but no less necessary. As clumsy and unprepared as we often feel for these talks--imagine what it's like for them when they need to come to us about something big. How hard must it be to take the initiative to tell us something that's been bugging them, something

Going to see a counselor is a tough call for a lot of men. Despite changing narratives about masculinity, emotions, and relationships, some guys still see going to therapy as a mark of failure. But nothing could be further from the truth. There is a lot to gain, and the investment you make in the process can be the catalyst for the change you've been dying to see in your life. 1. Therapy is work. A common concept men have of counseling is that you're just paying someone to si

Jeff was everybody's favorite guy--to ask for favors. He picked up the slack at work, volunteered three different ways at church, kept his phone alerts on all the time. His wife stopped coming to social gatherings with him. "I can't stand to watch you like that," she said, which didn't make sense to him, because that's when he was at his best. He didn't realize what it was like for her to see him "on" for everybody else when what she got at home was usually the emotionally-sp

Why will a man risk everything for sex?

Do you have the tools you need to repair relationships? Your outlook? Your habits?

Is there such a thing as too much love?

Let me start by saying I don't exactly like the term "toxic people". There are certainly toxic attitudes, behaviors, and relational styles. But these are usually defense mechanisms--maladaptive and abusive as they may be, it's the mechanism that's toxic. To some degree we all develop an inauthentic self: patterns of attitude, relating, and behaving meant to protect us, but which often does the opposite. For the "toxic" person this inauthentic self is a consuming force that cr

What's Burnout? The World Health Organization is reworking their definition of the 'Burnout syndrome' in hopes of sparking some much-needed conversation about what goes on in certain occupational sectors. But this is also a good reminder for each of us to reflect on just what exactly we're shooting for, and what our own expectations do to us. As a counselor, I think of Burnout as a place we come to when the demands of meeting a certain standard or expectation have left no roo

As I journey with clients through their stories, the process of reframing narratives and sifting for those nuggets of our true selves is powerful work, but I never assume that it's all the work that could be done. We are multifaceted creatures who exist in worlds of thought and language, but also flesh and bone. It only makes sense that our experiences, neuroses, even our stories themselves have these same facets to them. I love museums because they tell history not only in w

This time of year has a way of making me think about forgiveness, what it really means, why it's so hard, and why we need it. There are plenty of inspiring memes floating around teaching us about forgiveness, and some of them are more or less on the mark. "It's not really for them, it's for you", and so on. But really stepping into forgiveness means asking ourselves some pretty tough questions. Like, what is unforgiveness doing for you? What are you getting out of the resentm

I might have gone into biological chemistry if I enjoyed math a little more. Lessons on the microscopic world have always fascinated me. It's enthralling to study the universe of tiny machines at work in every part of our being, each one equipped for infinitely tiny jobs that make life on the grand scale possible. One of the features of cellular life that's truly amazing is the function of the membranes that surround the cells and also the components inside. So small and simp

‘Mark’ was a member of a group I led a while back. His wife said she’d lost him to his Xbox, and he couldn’t really disagree. It was typical for him to be up well past midnight—with work the next morning—eyes fixed on the TV screen, often cursing at it. When he wasn’t on the machine, most of the time he was mentally still plugged in. ‘Lisa’ was a hardcore bodybuilder. Nothing wrong with that, but she was pouring more time, energy and money into it than friends of hers who wer

In the age of Social Media, some important words have become diluted. We click on pages or swipe our way into apps, and there see impressively long lists of "friends" and "connections" showing us what a robust community we supposedly have. And yet loneliness persists. How many of the hundreds (thousands?) of relationships represented on that "friends" list would you honestly categorize as a true friendship? Are we truly connecting with each other? Social media offers a conven

When I was ready to finish my graduate degree and begin to branch out into professional practice, I knew Northern Colorado was where I wanted to be. What I didn't plan on was a part-time gig that would turn into a life-changing experience. I took a position as a substitute for the St. Vrain Valley School District, but since I didn't have a teaching degree, I was limited to working with Kindergarten and Special Ed classrooms. My very first job was to stand in for a week in the

"Everything is a fight. Sometimes I can't even remember what started it. Before I know it we're both just yelling. I don't know how it got this way." Sound familiar? By the time I first meet many of my couple clients, fights colored by anger and hostility have become routine. It's not what anybody wanted or chose, and the seeming inability to make a change for the better is discouraging in the extreme. But this isn't unfixable. When Stories Collide Intimacy has a way of calli

All of us are interested in being happier, healthier, and more successful in our endeavors. Whether you're big into making annual resolutions or not, the coming of the New Year has a way of focusing our attention on our goals and desires--and what we wish was different. Of course, New Year's Resolutions are a bit notorious for grand beginnings and short lifespans. But that's no reason to be discouraged! Whether you're looking to get fit, kick a habit, or heal a relationship i

I sat at my desk, at the job I'd wanted so badly for years, feeling utterly empty. What was happening? This was it, the thing that I was born to do, destined for. But what I thought would bring purpose, satisfaction, and a feeling of being truly alive was leaving me empty and hopeless. It didn't make any sense. Even as I struggled to keep relationships alive, there was this part of me bent on pushing people away. Angry, but not sure why or at whom. I ended up feeling hopeless